Remembering my Gram....

My grandmother's birthday was on Halloween. As my mom and I sat talking, handing out the candy, I realized that my post about her had not gone up. I know this is a few days late, but I also know that she would understand. The following is what I wrote while back home for Gram's funeral. I was sitting in her house, with my laptop and as I wrote the tears flowed down my cheeks. As I read this last week, contemplating posting those same words, the floodgates of my tears opened again. I miss her everyday and reading those words reminded me of the changes I made in my life after she was gone. I only wish that she could have known how she inspired me... and everyone else. Wow, more tears..... but happy, remembering ones.


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My Gram was an amazing woman. She could make a meal out of almost anything. She was always ready for fun –be it teaching me to cook or playing hide & seek. It wasn’t often she said no, or later. Unlike most grown-ups I knew she always made the time to
do whatever I wanted to do. I loved to see her sitting in her chair reading a book. I believe that her nightly reading encouraged me to do the same –every night I sit down to read at least a chapter of some book. My Gram lived a simple, yet full life. Instead of filling her home with lots of possessions she filled her heart with many precious memories. I have many of memories of her being there, always kind and warm and loving.

I want to be more like her. I want to live each day according to my beliefs, never being negative towards others or myself. I want to fill my heart with happy memories of my children doing ordinary things in ordinary ways. Not every memory has to be filled with achievements or accountings. It is the little things that matter –my Gram taught me that by the way she lived her life. While it didn’t sink in when she was with us, now in her house without her I sense it. I feel the joy she felt, the comfort and security of this loving place and I see the truth. It is not the things that matter – it is the people. So what if your carpet is old or stained, at least you have carpet. It doesn’t matter if your couch is one day old or ten years old it is still a place to sit.

What does matter is what you meant to those around you, how they know they mean everything to you. Why spend precious money or time searching for something that is right there waiting for you – your family. I will never again groan that I could be getting something done at home while watching my boys play baseball. I will not choose to be working when my children want to play. I am going to try to stop saying in just a minute –when that minute never comes.

BC 6-6-04