Santa Cruz pictures.

I love pictures. I love looking at them, blogging them and scrapping them. I even like taking them. I don't like carrying my camera though -since I switched to the better camera -I take so many fewer pictures than when I had a point and shoot in my purse. I may need to get a new point & shoot camera to carry with me -still bringing out the big camera for special events & such. So we took pictures one morning in Santa Cruz -as we walked from the HoJo where we were staying on West Cliff drive out to the Santa Cruz Wharf. In my other post I mistakenly referred to this as a "pier" but was told that is not accurate.{grin}






View of boardwalk from wharf -taken by Jackson

We spent quite awhile looking under the pier for sea lions -found
some napping on the boards --how on earth do they get up there??


Jackson very quietly crept up to this seagull and snapped this
picture before he flew away. I love it!

Gilda's is where we ate breakfast. It was a great breakfast, affordable,
we had a view of the water and the service was fantastic -our coffee
cups were never less than 1/2 full. If you know my husband & I -you know this
is a big thing for us. If you look close you can see my kiddo's playing football as they
wait in front for me to take the picture.

This summer Steven has been collecting art prints for his
walls. Some are unique {like this one} and some are more
classic {Washington Mall watercolor -- I should show the ones he got on his trip, oh well -that's another post}
but what I love is that they are eclectic and he is picking them based on what he likes -not to fit a theme. I guess that is another stage in growing up... sigh.

As we were talking about his choice the guy in the shop
stopped folding t-shirts and joined in. Turns out he is the artist. He signed the print for Steven and took this picture
he was a really nice guy. He had some great classic Woody/Santa Cruz artwork that I may get next time.





my honey & me taken by Jackson











I told Jackson he ruined my shot -I was trying to get the three of them walking on the wharf.. but it turns out I love this picture of him. Totally captures his current style and personality.

My boy doesn't like to wear t-shirts too
often. He prefers button ups or polo's and a fedora. Although he did pick up a new flat brim baseball cap that says Santa Cruz while we were there.











The guys waiting for me while I took ocean shots across the parking lot:)


The last one is my guys and me. Wow. I have some windblown hair. It was super windy that day. Yikes. I will treasure this picture anyway because it captured us on such a wonderful day spent together as a family.

First day of high school.

It happened. I knew it would. Eventually it would happen to me. My baby went to high school today. It seems like yesterday I walked him to kindergarten. Today I waved as he left for the bus and was surprised that I didn't feel sad. What I felt was very different from sad. It was excited. I am excited about what the next 4 years hold for him. Who he is to become. How he will change and grow over the next 4 years and what he will experience.

It made me think back to my first day of high school. It was the 80's and big hair was in. I had big hair! I wore textured brown menswear styled pants (pegged of course) with a white button down shirt, tie loosely tied and a vest. I remember it vividly. The nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach.. would I get lost, would I fit in, would everyone else be smarter than me? I knew 9 kids from my middle school going to the same high school as me. It was a competitive school and I wondered if they had made a mistake letting me in? I was going to be in a minority at this school -Asian students made up 85% of the population and Caucasian's were about 5%. I remember being so happy that my brother would be there... he would be on the bus, on the 13 block walk down Eucalyptus Drive and he would make sure I found my way to my first class. I was so thankful that he and his friend Haywood would be there with me, knowing they had already been there a year.
I was surprised that I wasn't sad. I am happy that is the case. I am still nostalgic for the child he was.. if I had my way I would have kept him 5 forever. But time passes and I am so proud of the kid he is now. So thankful to have been blessed by having him in my life.
Plus today -I beat him at the slug bug game on the way home from the cupcake store!!! Finally!

Wow...

This morning dawned early for me --only 4 hours of sleep and both boys needed to be up at 6 to get ready for school. They were dragging a bit too... but we were all up & ready to go by 7:20a.m.
We are going to have to work on our morning schedule --there is no way all 4 of us can get up and shower within an hour --so we will need to figure that out.

We headed out on time to Jesuit for orientation. We arrived @8:10 [20 minutes early] and found a parking space after circling a bit -only to realize it was a faculty parking space {insert embarrassed face here} but I stayed in it anyway. I will do my best to describe this awesome experience we had today.. I am sure my words will not convey the whole event, yet I'll give it a try!

There were 2 lines of boys out the gymnasium door. As the freshman walked thru, they cheered and high-5'd them. This line went from inside, thru the lobby and into the far side of the gym --where the boys checked in. Parents were diverted at the lobby into the area in the gym where the Mass was to be held. There were rows of folding chairs in the center of the gym floor, with signs stating they were for student seating. Parents filled in the bleachers and some chairs on the sides.
My mom and I took seats in the front row of the bleachers, right behind the student seating. Steven (being his father's son) took the last row, aisle seat --when he sat down there were no other kids in the 7-8 rows around him. I will admit I had a moment of hesitation, when I wanted to find someone to sit by him, worried about him sitting there all alone. No worries needed, a senior plopped down next to him within minutes. I looked over again and they were chatting, both seemingly relaxed. This was not his assigned big brother, but I could tell he was looking out for him anyway. Then Mass started with announcements that cell phones needed to be off and no gum chewing is allowed. The choir sang beautifully, their masculine voices filling the gymnasium even without microphones. After that there was much talk of Love and the environment at Jesuit being one of working hard, playing hard and praying hard. The freshman were mixed in with senior's who would act as their big brothers, not just today -but for the remainder of the year. Cementing the idea that this is a brotherhood that they join not just for the next four years -instead becoming Marauder's for LIFE!

There was a thoughtful homily --mentioning many biblical figures and referencing that soon the freshman will come to know those figures - not just as they were in the bible, but as they might have been as young men. That being told you can't do something because you aren't old enough is bad enough when it is a parent or teacher saying it -worse is telling yourself or God that you aren't old enough to do something.

During the Our Father, the boys wrapped their arms over each others shoulders in a gesture of that brotherhood -my eyes teared up at this point, I won't lie. It was a breathtaking sight to see all these young men come together -not afraid to show that they care for each other and the new boys that are joining the community today. It isn't something I have seen often, this care and concern shown by these young men today.

When the mass ended, the parents were shifted to the other hall and we heard from the Principal, the Dean, the Loyola Guild, the Boosters, the Service Director, the Alumni office person, head of Campus Ministry, the Student Body President and the President of the school Father Bonafiglio. As we sipped coffee and ate the worlds best lemon/sugar scones we listened to the speakers. Everyone said welcome, get involved, don't be nervous and get involved. Lot's of the same words, all directed towards us in a sincere, heartfelt way with some comedy thrown in. There was much talk of the Freshman Overnight Retreat that is coming up --so much talk -I am anxious to see how that lives up to the hype.

Once we were done there, they quickly shifted us out of the room to the quad -as the students were headed back and we were not to interact with them if we could help it. So we instead visited the booth's ...signed up for service hours. My mom & I agreed to help with Christmas Tree Lane and also making the gourmet food to sell at the Lane. I have no idea what this will entail -but I am looking forward to finding out. Then off we went to the Logo store to buy a lanyard & look at the other logo wear available. I didn't want to buy more logo stuff without Steven -I already spent $300 on t-shirts and hoodies at the registration day --so unless he has things he wants, I am not going to overwhelm him with apparel.

Now the weather is hot and sunny today, about 104. So I am exhausted after what I have described -but this only covers thru 10:45 a.m.! After that Mom & I went to meet Michelle for lunch at Bella Bru. It was so nice to have that hour of time just us girls to chat. After that it was back to Jesuit to pick up Steven. I carried his 50+ lbs of books in for him and we headed to his locker. On the way we ran into his big brother Nick -so he introduced us. We chatted for a few minutes {I would have stayed longer but it was right in the sun and I was melting!} then headed to his locker and put his books away. He was able to open the combination on the first try and is lucky to have a top locker. I put the shelf in and it seems like it might help him stay organized? Only time will tell I guess.

He was tired, hot and thirsty --so we then rushed off to the parking lot and headed home. We stopped at a gas station to get him a drink, then drove home. Stopping to get some posterboard Jackson needed for school and then finally arriving home at the same time as Jack. We changed out of our hot, sweaty clothes and breathed a sigh of relief to be home.

That's the whole story... I hope I captured just the smallest part of the emotion of the day. It was an amazing experience for us both. I know he is excited to be there (even though it's school) and I am excited too. I know we are going to get involved and be a part of the community -I look forward to it.

drama....

Today I was at work. Steven had an orthodontist appointment and my mom took him. I was in a meeting and left my phone on my desl. They texted me when it was done, so I could call and make the next appointment. Then there was a missed call. So I called back and my mom said Jack wasn't at home when they got there close to 3 -didn't he get out of school at 2? Then a couple minutes later, my husband called to say Jack wasn't there. I tried not to panic. I knew he had left his phone at home this morning, as it was dead. I tried not to panic, did I say that already. It was all I could do to not get in my car and head home {which based on the 1.75 hour commute I had at 5pm might not have been a bad idea} to find him. I remained calm. I suggested my husband look for him and hung up the phone. Jackson missed school yesterday -so maybe he stayed after to make up some work? Many things could have happened, but there were no calls or texts on my phone.

I waited a whole 1/2 hour before I called back to ask if he had shown up. I was told yes, he was home, he had stayed after school for the first Drama club meeting. When I finally arrived home and was talking to Jackson -he told me he left the meeting a whole 1/2 hour early because he realized someone might worry. He had tried to text his dad from his friend Quentin's phone, but sent a blank message somehow.

Mystery solved. Kiddo is home, safe and sound. My wanting to be home when he is due home from school is reinforced. Good news is -I work 2 days a week and now he has Drama club Tuesdays and Thursdays from 2-4. So I may switch my work days to Tue/Thur -since by the time he gets home at 4, his dad will be home. Then I am there the other 3 days a week when he gets out of school. This could solve my dilemma. He is so excited about this club. They are writing the play, then will put it on stage and perform it. Lots of experience and creative efforts will be involved -just his kind of thing.

I am happy to report that I have the rest of the week off from work, I have no jewelry shows... what I do have is Jesuit Orientation with Steven tomorrow, then his first day of High School on Thursday!! I am looking forward to spending some much needed time with Michelle after the parent part of Orientation... since driving home doesn't really make any sense as I have to pick Steven up at 1. Then on Friday night --he is going to his first high school dance! As much as it sounds like I will not be busy -the next 3 days are packed: with activity, driving, excitement and emotion. I am looking forward to it.

Menu Plan Monday

Back to regularly scheduled blogging for the day....

Menu Plan Monday helps keep me on track with making sure we have healthy dinners with a plan! It backfires occasionally, like when I make a substitution and the kids say .. that isn't what we were supposed to have. They monitor the menu and look forward to certain days.. so I try to follow the plan once it's posted, but if we have leftovers or don't defrost the meat -sometimes there are adjustments -after all it's only a guide to follow.

Monday - Meatball subs, green salad
Tuesday- taco bar, refried beans
Wednesday- chicken, rice, steamed veggies
Thursday-steak, green salad, baked beans
Friday- dinner out
Saturday-- meatloaf, mashed potatoes, steamed veggies
Sunday-- spaghetti, sausage, green salad

We will eat out Thursday or Friday --Steven starts high school on Thursday and we like to celebrate the start of the new school year by letting them pick a place to eat out. For Jackson we went to Leatherby's .. we'll see where we end up.

tough choices....

This morning my worker life and my mom life collided. I was left with an uneasy choice to make as I was forced to decide which role to fill. Of course in the end I am a mom and that had to come first. Now what? Will this affect my work life? The honest answer is I don't know. I hope not, but if it does, it does.

So, what happened? Jackson played over at a friends yesterday and when I picked him up he told me that he had been shot in the eye with a nerf bullet. It was a little red, and he said it hurt a bit. No worries, we put a cold compress on it and he was off to bed. Fast forward to this morning.. his eye is swollen, really red, his vision is blurry and he can't keep his eye open in sunlight. I called the doctor and they referred us to the opthalmologist. Their office doesn't open til 9am. I called my husband to be sure he could take him and I prepared to go to work. But my kiddo didn't want me to go. He looked at me with tears in his eyes, asking what will happen if I don't go to work? I told him not to worry about that --that if he needed me to stay with him and take him to the doctor-then that is what I will do. He hugged me and I saw the stress melt out of his body -his body language was clear, he was worried I would leave him.

This is a big ticket issue and concern for working mothers everywhere. Until 9 months ago, it wasn't a concern for me. I have been very lucky to have worked from home for the last 10 years. This allowed me to be there for my kiddo's when they were sick, when they had a bad day or whenever they needed me to be. With them is where I want to be, whatever it is that they need. Working in an office has been mentally stressful for me - worrying about how they get to school after I leave, fielding phone calls after school about things I wish I was there for, not being there to hear about their day, not being there on school holidays or breaks. This isn't what I want and that makes it harder for me. I want to give my job my full attention and I strive to have good attendance and to be there whenever I am scheduled to be: on-time and with my head in the game. Days like today make that impossible and feel like no matter what I do it's letting someone down.

I am very blessed to have a support system. My parents are always there for me and willing to give up their schedule to stay with the kids or help in any way they can. I appreciate that and I know that I am lucky -most people don't have that option available. My kids know that they are lucky to have grandparents who love them and will do anything for them. In fact, today my mom called to say just that --that she can come and stay with him so I can go to work after seeing my post on facebook. While that makes it a bit easier, it is still hard for me to disappoint them when they just want me to be the one there with them, when they want me to be there to comfort them.

I am waiting now on hold with Opthamology to find out what time we can go in...

Home again...

I love going places. I love coming home more. The comfort of being in my own space (messy though it may be) is unmatched.

I am too tired to upload the pictures.. so those will have to come tomorrow. I will say we had a great trip!!

When I travel I try to seek out local restaurants and try things I wouldn't get at home.. this trip was no exception. We tried 3 places this trip and would go back to any of them!

On the way there we stopped in Vacaville for our first try of Five Guys Burgers. I hear there is one in Natomas now, but not as far up as where we live. I was impressed with the value of the meal and the quality. The burgers were scrumptious and tasted fresh, not processed. The fries were a bit mushy for my taste (although my guys liked them alot) but tasted like potatoes -which I liked. Maybe they can make them well done? I'll have to ask next time I get to one.

For dinner we hit Pizza My Heart in downtown Santa Cruz. This was the closest I've come to tasting like real new york style pizza in California! It was not expensive ($20 for large pizza that fed all 4 of us), it was hot & fresh and made with real mozzerella cheese! A big hit!

For breakfast we stopped on the pier at Gilda's. Hot, fresh coffee, delicious pancakes and french toast and excellent service!! We will definitely go back there too. This one might not count as "new" as Jonathan had eaten there as a kid.. but for us it was a first.

The worst part --none of these things are easily accessible at home.. so we will not be able to return til we go back to Santa Cruz.. but it is definitely something to look forward to.

We saw a wonderful They Might be Giants concert last night at the Rio. The performance was great (as it always is) and my only complaint is this. This is an old movie theater. There were people standing in front of the stage, everyone else was seated. This show had lots of kids as well as adults. We were happy that there was seating, as seeing with the kids is difficult otherwise and this wasn't a concert with screens -your only view was what you could see onstage. During the second song, John Flansburgh told the audience in the back to stand up and shake their asses. So everyone stood and danced along. Then those on our side of the theater? yep, you guessed it, they kept standing, blocking everyone's view of the stage. Annoying. Didn't put a damper on the concert though -music was terrific!

Today we walked to the end of the pier, watched sea lions, did a bit of shopping and then hit the beach. It was a very overcast, windy day and the beach was freezing. That didn't stop the boys from playing football and burying Steven in the sand though -they had fun. I sat right by the boardwalk, shaded a bit from the wind, reading my new book. It was a peaceful couple of hours on the beach. We then rode the Giant Dipper, had snacks (boys had soft serve -Steven plain vanilla, Jackson cotton candy syrup swirled in his vanilla and I had a caramel apple), played a few video games in the arcade (Qbert anyone?) and then headed home. It was a fun day.

3 or so hours in the car and we are home. Doggies were excited to see us and vice versa. Now it's time for a good nights sleep. Tomorrow I'll get the pictures off the camera.

Expectations

I have always been easily hurt when someone doesn't meet my expectations. When what they do doesn't match the image in my mind or seem to account for how I feel. What I have learned in recent years is that most of the time this isn't intentional on their part. People don't know what is going on inside my head... what I think or wish for or want. If I don't tell them what I want or need, how can I be disappointed when they don't give it to me?

I have come a long way in taking responsibility for my reactions and responses, instead of feeling disappointed. I am trying to be concise and convey what I need - so that it isn't a surprise or guess for others.

At times, this still doesn't work. I still have things in my head and when those things don't happen, I am disappointed. So I am still a work in progress. I am better now at keeping my disappointment to myself -not making someone else responsible for my happiness.



We are in Santa Cruz. We had a great dinner of actual New York style pizza! It was yummy. Then we saw a favorite band play -They Might Be Giants (from New York as well),. It was a no age restriction show, so we took the boys. I was quite surprised by the number of toddlers and preschoolers that were brought to the show -which started at 8pm and was by no means cheap! It was held at a movie theater downtown -the place Jonathan first saw Return of the Jedi as a kid. It was packed -a sold out show (with some pot fumes in the air) and it was great. Jackson was a bit unsettled by how loud and crowded it was -but we still managed to have a good time.

The weather here is beautiful. The time together is priceless. Tomorrow we will spend the day at the beach --I am so looking forward to that! I am serious that next year we will rent a house and spend at least a week at the beach --in the peace and calm of this community.