I hate being sick.

Tuesday I wasn't feeling well, not bad really, just not well. Wednesday I woke up and knew it was a bug of some sort. My headed pounded and my throat had a tickle and I could do no more than lay on the couch and watch some movies with Steven and nap with the occasional load of laundry thrown in. By mid-afternoon I took Steven to meet his cousin at Sunsplash and went to the chiropractor, hoping for some headache relief. A little, not much was the result. Home, dinner and to bed at 7pm.

I really don't like being sick. It is always hard to sit around and not try to do to much. I have things that need to be done! Lunches and dinner still have to be made, kids still have to get up to go to school, dogs still need to go out.. by the time I do those things I am awake and can't just go back to bed.. so I lay on the couch and watch movies or General Hospital (16 episodes behind and I heard Brenda's back...) and try to not think of all the things no one else but me will do.

Today dawned a new day. Less headache, more ability to stand. Yeah! I managed to close out two shows, go school clothes shopping for Steven with my mom and do a show tonight. I am exhausted, but made it thru the day without falling over.

Tomorrow? A network meeting in the early a.m. and then early afternoon we are leaving for Santa Cruz!! We will see a concert Friday night and then I will sit on the beach on Saturday. I cannot wait! I need this time away to relax and refresh. To let go of all the stress that has been building and to formulate my thoughts.

Next week Steven starts high school! It's time for me to get ready for that. After my day at the beach.

Today had another emotional beginning. Partly my own emotion as I woke up not feeling right -my head aches, my throat was a bit sore, so I kinda knew things weren't gonna be easy today.

Work passed in a blur of stress, meetings and strategy planning. I was happy when the clock hit 4:30 -realizing I forgot to take my breaks and ready to go home. There was nothing I wanted more than to sit down, put my foot up and have a hot cup of tea. Instead I got dinner ready and jumped in the shower to refresh. I headed out to back to school night for Jackson at the middle school. I was there a bit early for the session and got the chance to speak with his teacher. She assured me he seems happy there, is doing quite well and that she never would have known he was Steven's brother if Jack hadn't pointed it out to her. She said it is interesting how different they are, yet both so focused on their studies. I appreciated that she took the time to tell me that.

I was surrounded by familiar faces there. Many of the kids are just in the same "team" and don't actually have classes with Jack -but many do. It was comforting to see so many familiar families and know that he is surrounded by friends. He told me today that he has made 2 new friends at school too -happy to hear that too.

I am headed to bed now.. hoping that tomorrow will bring a new day of feeling better. I don't have time to be sick this week -I really don't! The last 2 weeks have been packed and I have had almost no time at home, no wonder I am feeling run down. This will serve as a reminder that I have to limit my evenings out --whether for shows or trainings or kid events --to make sure I have time at home too.

2 more days and I get to be in Santa Cruz.... I cannot wait!

the end of the day...

The good news is that today is over. Finally! It turned out to be quite a long day when I added working 4 hours -which really adds 5 hours including my commute. I knew I had Premier training tonight, so I had purposely not chosen to work today -in the future I need to remember that when I am asked to work extra hours.

It was a busy day. I wasn't able to do what I went into work to do because someone else didn't do what they needed to do... so really wasted my time. I did get some things done there -but nothing that couldn't have waited until tomorrow -my regularly scheduled day to work.

Then came home and spent a tiny bit of time with Steven and then Jack got home and I ran out to get him a few school supplies he HAD to have today. I made dinner and rushed out the door before I even got to eat any.

Training was great -lots of fun fashion, cool ways to wear the jewelry were shared (with ribbon!) and got to know my new Premier family members a little more. Each has their own reason for starting their business and goals and I just want to help each of them get what they are looking for! It made for a long night picking everyone up and dropping them off.. we'll have to see how to work that for next time.

Came home, visited with Steven a few minutes. His laptop is due to arrive tomorrow and he is cleaning his room to ensure his immediate acceptance of the computer. He is up there now, waiting for me to tell him lights out once I am done down here.

I work a full day tomorrow -so I got lunches ready to take for those of us headed out in the morning. I still need to check the laundry and then I am headed upstairs.

I am so excited that we are headed to Santa Cruz this weekend! It's only an overnight trip -but I can't wait to sit on the beach and watch the water. Plus we are going to a concert -They might be giants -and the boys will see the band for the first time live.

Menu Plan Monday

Menu Plan Monday is back!!! I am back on my feet and able to grocery shop again -so I will be doing a stricter menu plan to allow both healthier dinners and extra for lunches.

Monday: Pork chops, mac & cheese , green beans

Tueday: BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, baked potato, salad

Wednesday: beef pot pie, green salad

Thursday: Taco bar, refried beans, rice

Friday & Saturday : trip to Santa Cruz

Sunday: something easy

lessons have to be learned

At times I struggle with figuring out at what age certain lessons are best learned? I am sure every mother has similar questions. You know all those things that just pop into our heads like we've always known them, but are actually learned at some point in time?

I am a helper by nature, it is my first instinct to help others. This nurturing part of my nature was something that I incorporated into my parenting style. I have always liked the Love & Logic system and tried to make my kids as independent as possible. For the most part that has worked out pretty well. But there are times, like this morning for example, when I find it impossible to just say "tough luck" and instead want to help. It is instinctual, but probably not the best choice.

This weekend I asked Jackson no fewer than 4 times if he had things to do for school (ie. homework) and he said no. I purchased the remainder of his school supplies yesterday and suggested he put them in his backpack and he said later. This morning that all blew up. As he was putting away his supplies he found he had class work (thus he points out "technically not homework") that he didn't have a work book for in class and so he wrote it on binder paper and needed to copy it into the workbook. Plus he found his science folder that still needed a bit colored on it. He melted. He was so upset and I just wanted to help him get thru it. I know that Logic says I should let him suffer the consequences.. but that is what he was upset about. He is so much a rule follower, so worried about not making the grade... he was freaking out about what would happen if it wasn't done.

That's where the most difficult issue exists.... this freaking out part of him is a carbon copy of me. When faced with what I perceive as failure.. I melt. I cry. I can't stop it, it just happens. So how am I supposed to teach him to not melt. To not cry. When it just happens?

I want my kids to work hard and be the best people they can be. They are both empathetic, helpful and can be very thoughtful. They are both great kids. I am very proud of them and I just want to continue to help them anyway I can (and should) without enabling them.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day...we'll just have to take it one day at a time.

I wonder?

I love watching shows about tattoo's. I like the artwork, I like the meaning many people have behind getting them. I like the tattoo's. I say I can't imagine ever getting one, but I like watching them on tv. It seems weird. Sometimes I even get to where I feel like I might consider one. But overall, I am not a fan. I don't really like seeing them on people, I find them distracting. So why do I so enjoy watching shows about them? It's something to ponder I guess.

I read this quote today:

‎"Largest untapped resource in the world is human good intention not acted on."

and it stuck with me somehow. I think that it is absolutely true -especially for me. I have great intentions all the time, my follow through however, sucks. Truly sucks. I am making it a goal to turn more of my good intentions into action.

Ok. so now I lost my train of thought, I don't know why I am always so surprised when that happens? Jackson ran in, breathless, to ask if it's ok if he helps a neighbor girl chase her dog that got out. So while I was saying yes, my thoughts stopped. It's really gone. Oh well.

Maybe I'll have better luck tomorow:0) I am exhausted and so I am going to go take a nice, hot bath while watching an episode of Dark Blue.

what a difference 28 days makes...

One month ago today I was in Dallas, Texas for the Premier Designs Rally. I was having a great trip, learning lots and inspired to change my business as a way to change my life. Everything came crashing down around me after I checked out of my hotel. On my way back to the convention center, I looked momentarily down at my phone and missed the step, falling hard on my ankle.

Although it hurt (really bad) I sat up, looked around to make sure no one saw me in what was probably my most un-graceful moment to date and then sat on the step repeating to myself "it doesn't hurt that much, I am a strong woman, suck it up and go." I then took some motrin, picked myself up and went back to Rally. The next 12 hours passed in a blur of cute paramedics, ice packs, lots of motin, slow movement and the stress of not knowing what was wrong. I made the decision (right or wrong) to not go to the hospital after being informed if they decided I needed a cast that I wouldn't be allowed to fly home for 3-4 days.

I got to the airport and must say the team members at American Airlines really did their best to help me --taking me down the jetway in a wheelchair, re-assigning me to a close to the front window seat so my foot would not be in the aisle to get accidentally kicked, putting my bag in for me.

The next morning Jonathan took me for x-rays and I spent the next week sitting in the recliner with my foot up.

At rally that day Randy Draper spoke. He was eloquent and an amazing speaker. I truly felt that he was talking to me and only me. He said many things that had an impact on me, enough that I was stirred to text Gayla and tell her that I was going to be a designer by Regional Rally in January.

As I sat with my foot up, ice on, all I could think was why me, why now???? How could this happen right when I needed to get busy and work my Premier business. A month later? I realize that the fall was me hitting bottom and the only way to go was up. I spent lots of the time I was sidelined on the phone booking shows, setting goals and getting organized. I have seen my business skyrocket as a result! I have two new jewelers in my first level (one of my best girlfriends included!!) and two in my second level! I have an almost full calendar and a new show format. I am so excited to build my Premier family with woman I love, trust and admire.

I am relaxed and prepared going into my shows, not worried or stressed. I am able to go out and minister to other women the only way I know how -with my heart. I return home from appointments or shows happy, fufilled and knowing that my life has been blessed. I can only pray that those I am in contact with at those appointments or shows feels the same. In fact, today a gal I met with posted this on facebook:

"Excited to get my new necklace from Betsey with Premier Designs. It was so easy to be honest with her about what I liked and didn't like, usually the jewelry people are so pushy and fake but Betsey like most people I choose to do business with is a genuine, person with her heart in the right place."

and it made me cry.. happy tears or puddles in fact. I was so touched that she took the time to post about me. Her words made me realize that the fall in Dallas wasn't an obstacle put in my way to slow me down, it was a blessing put there to give me the time I needed to get to where I needed to be. The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed and I for one plan to listen! Bring on the Holy Nudges Lord!, I am ready to listen!

One month= 28 days= a whole new perspective. As Gayla always says "Nothing changes if you don't change."


Now to get working on the 8 pounds I gained sitting in the recliner...LOL

attitude is everything...

Over the years I have really come to believe that attitude is a huge determining factor in the outcome of life. When I think good, I act good and good things happen. I like that. I have always been a glass half full kind of girl ---although during the rougher (young child) years, I will admit that occasionally I did view the glass as half-empty thru my sleep deprived haze. The problem with seeing the glass as half-empty is that the more you feel that way, the longer your life feels that way, until you don't even remember there was another {better} way.

The good news about attitude is that you can change it at any time. I know now that I was the painter of my own canvas and if I want a different picture it has to be who paints it differently.

So I have undergone a huge transition in my thinking over the last 18 months and in response I have a totally different outlook. I love that! I am struggling to get back the parts of me that disappeared when the kids arrived -like keeping my house up and maintaining my friendships. I will still work on that, every single day. No matter what my family has to come first and I wouldn't trade the time I spend with them for anything. Eventually I will get there and I will be happy to be there when it happens.

I was reminded about attitude today when talking to my son. I got home from work saw Jackson sitting at the table doing homework. My husband mentioned to me that he had been doing his homework for the past 2 hours or so. When I asked Jack how it was going, he said good. He never complained about having 2 hours of homework on the 3rd night of school. He actually commented to me as I was fixing dinner that what he liked most about his work was that he did it {mostly} on his own and he made very few mistakes. His handwriting was clear and his answers concise. He took his time to do a good job. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I like that he understands himself so well -most people don't.

He did a project in Language Arts where he had to compare himself to objects and here is what he said:
"I am a circle because everything goes smoothly and the same way everyday -just like how I like my life. I am a sloth because I'm a slow and hard worker, and I always get the job done. If I were a kitchen tool I would be a blender because I cause destruction. If I were a color I'd be yellow because I'm bright and I make people happy."

I am so lucky to be blessed with a boy who is so intuitive about who he is and what he needs. I sometimes question his choices {like deciding last minute to not be in the band or play fall ball} but then I remember that as well as I know him, my kid knows himself better. I admire that. I am very proud of him. I can hardly believe he is in middle school. I promise that I will take the traditional 1st day of school photo!! This year it will just be the 1st Friday of school photo instead!