the end of the day...

The good news is that today is over. Finally! It turned out to be quite a long day when I added working 4 hours -which really adds 5 hours including my commute. I knew I had Premier training tonight, so I had purposely not chosen to work today -in the future I need to remember that when I am asked to work extra hours.

It was a busy day. I wasn't able to do what I went into work to do because someone else didn't do what they needed to do... so really wasted my time. I did get some things done there -but nothing that couldn't have waited until tomorrow -my regularly scheduled day to work.

Then came home and spent a tiny bit of time with Steven and then Jack got home and I ran out to get him a few school supplies he HAD to have today. I made dinner and rushed out the door before I even got to eat any.

Training was great -lots of fun fashion, cool ways to wear the jewelry were shared (with ribbon!) and got to know my new Premier family members a little more. Each has their own reason for starting their business and goals and I just want to help each of them get what they are looking for! It made for a long night picking everyone up and dropping them off.. we'll have to see how to work that for next time.

Came home, visited with Steven a few minutes. His laptop is due to arrive tomorrow and he is cleaning his room to ensure his immediate acceptance of the computer. He is up there now, waiting for me to tell him lights out once I am done down here.

I work a full day tomorrow -so I got lunches ready to take for those of us headed out in the morning. I still need to check the laundry and then I am headed upstairs.

I am so excited that we are headed to Santa Cruz this weekend! It's only an overnight trip -but I can't wait to sit on the beach and watch the water. Plus we are going to a concert -They might be giants -and the boys will see the band for the first time live.

Menu Plan Monday

Menu Plan Monday is back!!! I am back on my feet and able to grocery shop again -so I will be doing a stricter menu plan to allow both healthier dinners and extra for lunches.

Monday: Pork chops, mac & cheese , green beans

Tueday: BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, baked potato, salad

Wednesday: beef pot pie, green salad

Thursday: Taco bar, refried beans, rice

Friday & Saturday : trip to Santa Cruz

Sunday: something easy

lessons have to be learned

At times I struggle with figuring out at what age certain lessons are best learned? I am sure every mother has similar questions. You know all those things that just pop into our heads like we've always known them, but are actually learned at some point in time?

I am a helper by nature, it is my first instinct to help others. This nurturing part of my nature was something that I incorporated into my parenting style. I have always liked the Love & Logic system and tried to make my kids as independent as possible. For the most part that has worked out pretty well. But there are times, like this morning for example, when I find it impossible to just say "tough luck" and instead want to help. It is instinctual, but probably not the best choice.

This weekend I asked Jackson no fewer than 4 times if he had things to do for school (ie. homework) and he said no. I purchased the remainder of his school supplies yesterday and suggested he put them in his backpack and he said later. This morning that all blew up. As he was putting away his supplies he found he had class work (thus he points out "technically not homework") that he didn't have a work book for in class and so he wrote it on binder paper and needed to copy it into the workbook. Plus he found his science folder that still needed a bit colored on it. He melted. He was so upset and I just wanted to help him get thru it. I know that Logic says I should let him suffer the consequences.. but that is what he was upset about. He is so much a rule follower, so worried about not making the grade... he was freaking out about what would happen if it wasn't done.

That's where the most difficult issue exists.... this freaking out part of him is a carbon copy of me. When faced with what I perceive as failure.. I melt. I cry. I can't stop it, it just happens. So how am I supposed to teach him to not melt. To not cry. When it just happens?

I want my kids to work hard and be the best people they can be. They are both empathetic, helpful and can be very thoughtful. They are both great kids. I am very proud of them and I just want to continue to help them anyway I can (and should) without enabling them.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day...we'll just have to take it one day at a time.

I wonder?

I love watching shows about tattoo's. I like the artwork, I like the meaning many people have behind getting them. I like the tattoo's. I say I can't imagine ever getting one, but I like watching them on tv. It seems weird. Sometimes I even get to where I feel like I might consider one. But overall, I am not a fan. I don't really like seeing them on people, I find them distracting. So why do I so enjoy watching shows about them? It's something to ponder I guess.

I read this quote today:

‎"Largest untapped resource in the world is human good intention not acted on."

and it stuck with me somehow. I think that it is absolutely true -especially for me. I have great intentions all the time, my follow through however, sucks. Truly sucks. I am making it a goal to turn more of my good intentions into action.

Ok. so now I lost my train of thought, I don't know why I am always so surprised when that happens? Jackson ran in, breathless, to ask if it's ok if he helps a neighbor girl chase her dog that got out. So while I was saying yes, my thoughts stopped. It's really gone. Oh well.

Maybe I'll have better luck tomorow:0) I am exhausted and so I am going to go take a nice, hot bath while watching an episode of Dark Blue.

what a difference 28 days makes...

One month ago today I was in Dallas, Texas for the Premier Designs Rally. I was having a great trip, learning lots and inspired to change my business as a way to change my life. Everything came crashing down around me after I checked out of my hotel. On my way back to the convention center, I looked momentarily down at my phone and missed the step, falling hard on my ankle.

Although it hurt (really bad) I sat up, looked around to make sure no one saw me in what was probably my most un-graceful moment to date and then sat on the step repeating to myself "it doesn't hurt that much, I am a strong woman, suck it up and go." I then took some motrin, picked myself up and went back to Rally. The next 12 hours passed in a blur of cute paramedics, ice packs, lots of motin, slow movement and the stress of not knowing what was wrong. I made the decision (right or wrong) to not go to the hospital after being informed if they decided I needed a cast that I wouldn't be allowed to fly home for 3-4 days.

I got to the airport and must say the team members at American Airlines really did their best to help me --taking me down the jetway in a wheelchair, re-assigning me to a close to the front window seat so my foot would not be in the aisle to get accidentally kicked, putting my bag in for me.

The next morning Jonathan took me for x-rays and I spent the next week sitting in the recliner with my foot up.

At rally that day Randy Draper spoke. He was eloquent and an amazing speaker. I truly felt that he was talking to me and only me. He said many things that had an impact on me, enough that I was stirred to text Gayla and tell her that I was going to be a designer by Regional Rally in January.

As I sat with my foot up, ice on, all I could think was why me, why now???? How could this happen right when I needed to get busy and work my Premier business. A month later? I realize that the fall was me hitting bottom and the only way to go was up. I spent lots of the time I was sidelined on the phone booking shows, setting goals and getting organized. I have seen my business skyrocket as a result! I have two new jewelers in my first level (one of my best girlfriends included!!) and two in my second level! I have an almost full calendar and a new show format. I am so excited to build my Premier family with woman I love, trust and admire.

I am relaxed and prepared going into my shows, not worried or stressed. I am able to go out and minister to other women the only way I know how -with my heart. I return home from appointments or shows happy, fufilled and knowing that my life has been blessed. I can only pray that those I am in contact with at those appointments or shows feels the same. In fact, today a gal I met with posted this on facebook:

"Excited to get my new necklace from Betsey with Premier Designs. It was so easy to be honest with her about what I liked and didn't like, usually the jewelry people are so pushy and fake but Betsey like most people I choose to do business with is a genuine, person with her heart in the right place."

and it made me cry.. happy tears or puddles in fact. I was so touched that she took the time to post about me. Her words made me realize that the fall in Dallas wasn't an obstacle put in my way to slow me down, it was a blessing put there to give me the time I needed to get to where I needed to be. The Lord works in mysterious ways indeed and I for one plan to listen! Bring on the Holy Nudges Lord!, I am ready to listen!

One month= 28 days= a whole new perspective. As Gayla always says "Nothing changes if you don't change."


Now to get working on the 8 pounds I gained sitting in the recliner...LOL

attitude is everything...

Over the years I have really come to believe that attitude is a huge determining factor in the outcome of life. When I think good, I act good and good things happen. I like that. I have always been a glass half full kind of girl ---although during the rougher (young child) years, I will admit that occasionally I did view the glass as half-empty thru my sleep deprived haze. The problem with seeing the glass as half-empty is that the more you feel that way, the longer your life feels that way, until you don't even remember there was another {better} way.

The good news about attitude is that you can change it at any time. I know now that I was the painter of my own canvas and if I want a different picture it has to be who paints it differently.

So I have undergone a huge transition in my thinking over the last 18 months and in response I have a totally different outlook. I love that! I am struggling to get back the parts of me that disappeared when the kids arrived -like keeping my house up and maintaining my friendships. I will still work on that, every single day. No matter what my family has to come first and I wouldn't trade the time I spend with them for anything. Eventually I will get there and I will be happy to be there when it happens.

I was reminded about attitude today when talking to my son. I got home from work saw Jackson sitting at the table doing homework. My husband mentioned to me that he had been doing his homework for the past 2 hours or so. When I asked Jack how it was going, he said good. He never complained about having 2 hours of homework on the 3rd night of school. He actually commented to me as I was fixing dinner that what he liked most about his work was that he did it {mostly} on his own and he made very few mistakes. His handwriting was clear and his answers concise. He took his time to do a good job. Slow and steady wins the race, right? I like that he understands himself so well -most people don't.

He did a project in Language Arts where he had to compare himself to objects and here is what he said:
"I am a circle because everything goes smoothly and the same way everyday -just like how I like my life. I am a sloth because I'm a slow and hard worker, and I always get the job done. If I were a kitchen tool I would be a blender because I cause destruction. If I were a color I'd be yellow because I'm bright and I make people happy."

I am so lucky to be blessed with a boy who is so intuitive about who he is and what he needs. I sometimes question his choices {like deciding last minute to not be in the band or play fall ball} but then I remember that as well as I know him, my kid knows himself better. I admire that. I am very proud of him. I can hardly believe he is in middle school. I promise that I will take the traditional 1st day of school photo!! This year it will just be the 1st Friday of school photo instead!

My first seven months...

So, 7 months ago today I started my job working for the State of California. It has been a roller coaster ride of bureaucracy to say the least. While I enjoy my job and the people I work with, I am very frustrated by the time it takes to get anything done or an answer to a question. Granted, I work in a "new" department. My dept was only established last year and it was not staffed properly for the first few months. My co-worker was there over a year and had finally gotten the hang of "why" we did certain things besides "it's just the way its done."

Things that I pointed out 3 weeks into my job tenure are now coming to light as "problems we didn't know about" yet I have been pointing these issues out and asking for answers on possible solutions for 6 months. In May there were 3 of us working full time in my department. Now there is just me, part time. One gal left July 1st -no replacement has been hired yet. The main person left August 1st.. I can only pray that one of them is replaced sometime very, very soon.
I have explained that I am limited in what I can get done half time and with furloughs. I work from the moment I get there until it is time to go -I can't do anymore than what I am already doing. So, I will continue to document and request answers and maybe someday I'll get some. Until then, I work my hours and leave my troubles at my desk when I head home.


I spent 5 months working full-time, everyday. If I am honest, it was too much for me. There was no sense of balance, everything seemed out of whack... and even 2 months into full time, my house hasn't recovered! I like working part-time, usually. A couple days a week out of the house isn't bad -if my office were closer I would work 4-5 hours every day. Today I worked a 4 hour day and came home to be productive. One thing that is difficult on my work days is I get home 2-3 hours after everyone else.. so they are in downtime mode. I am happy to sit down and enjoy time with them, but then I don't get back up and nothing gets done. Or I am off and running to a jewelry show and nothing at home gets done.

I am happy with my new schedule for the most part. I wish it was the same days every week, but I love that it is flexible with my kids events or school activities. It allows me to menu plan and grocery shop and cook. I have more time to build my Premier business. Most importantly, it allows me to be there when my kiddos leave in the morning everyday and home when they get home 3 days a week, with benefits.

Looking down the road... I don't know where I'll be next year or 3 years from now. I can only hope that I'll be doing whatever works best for my family at that time, as this does now.

My life

There have many changes in my life over the past year. Many I like, some I don't but can live with. In an effort to keep from offending others or self-editing in a way that wasn't honest, I stopped posting to my blog. It had become to hard to know how what I wrote would impact others. I really missed writing everyday -it had become a time I treasured, both the writing and planning about what I would write. I miss having the recap of my life complete with pictures that were entered as they happened -before I could forget them. The capturing of those little things had become very important to me. So I am making the most important change today - I am going to resume blogging on a daily basis. I want to start by saying what I write here is mostly for me, therapy if you will. In no way is anything written every intended to hurt or offend another. However, it is important that I say that because I am not going to self-edit my feelings anymore and sometimes how I feel will offend someone else. By choosing to read, you run the risk of reading something you don't like -your decision to make.

I used to wish that my life were filled with poetry and roses, but it isn't. I have a pretty simple life. I have a husband I love more everyday and two boys we are trying to keep on the right track. I try to surround myself with the people I love and do things that make me happy. I have made strides in the past year since I joined Premier and am now much more confident in who I am, no longer trying to be who others want me to be. I wake up every morning and pray that I will be the best person I can be, a person who is trustworthy, someone who is kind and most of all someone I can be proud to have been as I say my evening prayers. I have blossomed in my faith and now know that is all I can ask of myself. I have begun to "give my worries to God" knowing that he will take care of the worrying for me.

I am what I seem. There are no hidden agendas. I am working everyday to build my business with Premier, loving that this business brings me closer to God and allows me everyday to support missionary work all over the globe. I love the women I have met and the path I have chosen with Premier.

I am constantly surprised (although maybe I shouldn't be) at how many of those who surround me are not what they seem or sincere in their actions. I used to place my trust in people until they proved untrustworthy. Unfortunately I have learned that many people are not what they seem. Instead of being honest, they build a house of cards that eventually crumbles. I am looking for relationships that come without strings, without unreasonable expectations and with forgiveness attached. I am so blessed to have found people who feel the same and I do my best to limit my exposure to the rest.


Today was a difficult day for me. Jackson started middle school. He loved it, came home so excited about the independence, the different classes and the environment. He enjoyed being able to have lunch outside with his friends, not at a specified table with his classmates. He has a friend in all his classes from his baseball team this spring and likes that --they are in everything together. He is taking a special advanced math course and is excited about that. He's my baby though, and now he's in middle school. In 7 years he'll be in college!! This is my last first day of middle school, no more elementary school, it is somewhat heartbreaking for me, yet exhilerating at the same time. I love the young man he is becoming as he spreads his wings and starts exploring different likes and activities. He is a child without walls, not concerned with what others think about what he does or wears. He has a true artistic nature and it is starting to come out stronger and stronger. He still craves quiet and alone time. He still hugs and cuddles with me when he is tired. But he jumped out of the van so fast today my head almost spun -I won't lie, it hurt to watch him walk away without looking back. Because no matter how much loss I feel, he feels adventure and that is the way it should be. I know tomorrow will be better and when he heads out to school I'll smile a little more each day. For I want him to be happy and explore his new world, I know I am still a big part of it.

Well, I guess that is it for now, I need to go wipe my face and get lunches made for tomorrow.